My first job with children was just after University. I was young and energetic! I had worked a bit with the Scripture Union of Uganda (SU) and I was full of power. Those who have associated with SU, however remotely will understand what form of power I am talking about. But that is the story for another day. Let me write about children.
On the 2nd day at my 2nd workplace, I was handed a big motorcycle to traverse villages in the current Rubirizi District in South Western Uganda. The key features around my operation area were Queen Elizabeth National park and the beautiful tea farms of Kyamuhunga. I would ride through twice daily, in the morning and evening. I would ride to the villages, in slopes and valleys. This was in 2009. I will save you the details but the brief is that I met with an average of 15 families daily. Later on, I was promoted to supervise colleague social workers. We did amazing work. You can read about it. I still have an opportunity to work with Children in my current job.
In my work with children, I have come to appreciate that their mothers have diverse perspectives about the well being of their children. I can tell you about the 3 types of mothers. I will use a short story for each category:
The all-out to defend mother
The woman I will never forget was one who cut off the genitals of a man that she caught red-handed in a sexual act with her daughter. She had received a tip-off by a friend that her daughter who had left to fetch firewood in the nearby forest was actually with a man. She grabbed a sharp panga, moved swiftly and found the naked fellow. The next thing, blood was all over. We can talk about what happened next but the story is not far. Ask Google.
The other is one who is the 'childless' mother. That is if there is anything like that. This particular woman was first married for 18 years, she could not give birth. Her husband abandoned her for another wife. With the young wife, the man got 2 boys. But the young wife could not stand the 'poverty' at least that's what she said. She left the man. After some time, the man was bedridden with a certain ailment. The first wife came back to care. This woman would have nothing less than ensuring that the stepsons get a formal education. One of them ran out of school. He would leave home so early and return after midnight. He spent some nights in the neighborhood. The woman cried. She told me that she would arrest him and handover him to me. One night, she did not sleep, she waited. At 3:00am, she moved and sat at the doorway until morning. We took the boy back to school. He is doing well.
The accompanying mother
One morning, a woman came to me. She cried out. A Primary School teacher had defiled her daughter. She looked so touched. We both agreed to go to the police and report the matter. The police were swift. They picked the teacher. The doctor's report conformed defilement etc. We spent the whole day moving up and down. The next morning, the same woman came to me, this time with her daughter. They had one request, that I should accompany them to Police to ask that the teacher be released. I couldn't! I refused! In hindsight, I passed by Central Police Station in Mbarara. The teacher had been given a police bond. The investigation was going on. We did all we could and there is a story to tell.
The saboteur mother
Her husband died, she married another younger man. She had eight children. the program I worked with supported her children to attend school. During holidays, she sent her children to work around farms, they brought her the money. At the beginning of the school term, she did not send her children back to school. When we visited, she and her younger children who were home ran and hid in the nearby bushes. She told us to leave her alone.The other was blind, she had one son. She used to move around singing for some money and begging. The program supported her son to start school. She pulled him off school to continue begging even when the program provided her with some incentives. When the child was sick and admitted to a good facility, she pulled him off the ward before he was well. To proceed with begging. The child missed taking his medicine a lot. His health deteriorated, he got TB, Meningitis, etc and died. The woman now had no helper, she died a few months later.
let's talk about fathers next time!
But be not deceived, the stories of triumph are more than those of support in vein! Its joy all over. W
e can have a dance.
let's talk another day!
